Afganduism

The only good Afghan is a dead Afghan.

Why did the Afgandu cross the road? To blow up on the other side.

Afgandu ki ek he saza, sar tan se juda, sar tan se juda.

Afgandus have hijacked the revolutionary thinking of Bhagat Singh's Punjabis and Jinnah's Muhajirs.

The irony is that the land of Ranjit Singh is being used to benefit the sons of Abdali.

The religion of Afganduism is an existential threat to Pakistan, and by extension, to the world. It doesn't matter whether its prophet is Imran Khan, Fazl-ur-Rehman, Ayub Khan, Yahya Khan, Mahmood Ghaznavi, Ahmed Shah Abdali, Genghis Khan, Helagu Khan, Yajuj or Majuj.

The region of Khorasan has historically produced religions such as Baha'ai, Yazidism, Druzism that rebrand the teachings of Islam in an adulterated and heretical packaging. One religion that has gone unnoticed is Afganduism. The followers of this religion are predominantly Pashtuns, but their latest prophet has made sure even Punjabis and Muhajirs do not remain immune to this cult. On the flip side, not all Pashtuns are Afgandus.

Afgandus consider themselves the true believers of Islam and all other sects heretics. The main teachings of Afganduism are:

Stealing, robbing and dacoity are more important than namaz, roza, hajj and zakaat. Dollars are more important than sawab.
If you need to kill a kafir for resisting mobile snatching, you shouldn't hesitate. If the kafir survives you will rot in hell.
Trafficking / peddling / selling drugs to youth is ok since we're not using them. Indian army is our most important logistical partner for landing drugs on Adani Mundra port.
Vaccination is a kafir conspiracy. There is no such thing as polio or COVID19.
Women are factories of procreation only. If a video of a girl appears on Facebook, masturbate first, then preach modesty. It is ok to bring female members of a kafirs family in heated arguments.
It is recommended to rape male children in madrassas. In a crowd, it is recommended to grope a female or rub your genitals on them.
Kafiristan buys Chinese mobiles, Saudi petrol, Japanese vehicles, Korean electronics and Indian medication using dollars. We don't need dollars because we can just steal all these things from Karachi and then use Afgandu sleeper agents in Kafiristani army to ship them to Kabul or Jalalabad.
Fooling the people from the land of Bhagat Singh or the birthplace of Jinnah into revolution is recommended as long as it causes anarchy in Kafiristan.
While our prophet is busy fooling Kafiristanis into revolution, we will quietly make deals with Arabs, Chinese, Americans, Israelis and align with global interests.
Smuggling dollars into Afgandustan during Pakistan's balance of payments crisis is jihad. Smuggling wheat into Afgandustan after massive flooding led to food shortages in Pakistan is also jihad.
Pakistani army is the army of kafir swines. Playing football with their severed heads and vandalism in Kafiristan on the arrest of our prophet will immediately give you golden ticket to paradise.
All Afgandu prophets including Genghis Khan, Helagu Khan, Mahmood Ghaznavi, Ahmed Shah Abdali, Alauddin Khalji and Aurangzeb Alamgir are respectable.
Before Qayamat, our saviors Yajuj Majuj who were incarcerated by the kafir Dhul Qarnayn, will be released and will impose Afganduism universally.
You can reserve a place in paradise by showering bullets on kafir children in schools.
If a Hindu kafir pays you to kill Sunni kafirs in mosques or Hazara kafirs in Imam Bargahs, that money is halal, and the killing is jaiz.
If you have a tasbeeh in your hand and recite Quranic ayats every few minutes, even phone sex becomes halal.

All stolen mobiles, whether by neelay naray, lal topi or gutka brigade, eventually end up in Jalalabad. The Afgandus are an existential threat to the integrity of Pakistan, and these unreformable vermin have been plundering since the times of Mahmood Ghaznavi, Alauddin Khalji, Ahmed Shah Abdali and Aurangzeb Alamgir. This filth is embedded in their genetics.

After US left Afgandistan, incidents increased even in relatively safe areas like Islamabad and Lahore. In times of dollar shortages and post-flood famine, they smuggled dollars and wheat into Afgandistan. They blow up our kids in mosques, snatch cars and bikes, steal our assets and peddle drugs. It's about time we shifted our national enmity and ideological hatred from India to Afgandistan and adopted Pakistani nationalism as a distinct identity from Muslim nationalism. Know your enemies and recognize their apologists.

It started way before Pakistan came into being. Like I said, they are unreformable, and the only race on Earth that qualifies as yajuj majuj. We need to create a wall like Hazrat Zulqarnain did, and adopt the Indian policy of hate and isolate.

The historical enemy of the Indian civilization has always been Afgandus. They have been plundering since the time of Mahmood Ghaznavi, Alauddin Khalji, Ahmed Shah Abdali and Aurangzeb Alamgir, so don't delude yourselves into thinking the current exploding lot is just a victim of the wars, or part of our brotherhood. The filth is embedded in their genetics and has spilled over to Pakistan and destroyed our societal fabric like a moth infestation. Any suicide attack in the name of Islam in KPK or Balochistan from these uncircumcised savages is actually an attempt to further their Durand line ambitions.

The key to salvation will be to exterminate these pests living in Pakistan, suppress their influences and vilify their apologists, no matter how revolutionary or how messianic they may seem. The next step will be to adopt the Indian policy of hate and isolate. The final step will be to revert to the entrepreneurial ways of our Indian forefathers and suppress the violent instincts of Afgandu ancestry through import of Indian history books and recalibration of all Muslim villains into Afgandus. India may be our rival, but Afgandistan is an eternal enemy and an existential threat.

Afgandistan ne itne Pakistani maaray hain jitne India, Israel aur America ne mil k b nai maaray. Punjab k barabar mein India hai tbi aaj wahan match hua, jabke KPK k barabar mein Afgandistan hai jis ne Eid k din Pakistanio ki khushi ko dobara gham mein badal dia. Pakistani Punjabi Indian Punjabi ko Khalistan pe uksata hai, lekin badqismati se, Pakistani Pathan har dehshatgardi ko Pashtoon vs Army ka masla bna k harami-un-nasal Afganduo ko b apnay saath shumar kartay hain, jabke sabse zyada jani nuqsan b Pathano ka hua hai. Ye aise he hogaya jese aap ne chaawal aur susrian mila di. Susri k jaga sirf gutter ki naali hai. Ab waqt agaya hai k hm apni nazaryati nafrat aur qomi dushmani India se hata kar Afgandistan ki taraf mor den.

Afgandus and their apologists are an existential threat to Pakistan. In the past, these namak harams used primitive methods like terrorism and organized crime to further their agenda. But, unlike Pakistanis, these savages have now evolved and mastered the art of propaganda that does not even spare highly educated individuals (Jalalabad / Karachi video is a recent example). It's time we shifted our national and ideological hatred from India to Afgandistan.

Nehru was a more far-sighted leader than Jinnah. He knew Afgandus were historical enemies of the Indian civilization so he agreed to the demand of Pakistan where Afgandus became a Punjabi problem while India remain insulated from the menace and flourished. The current wave of PTI Afgandus is much more lethal than the TTP, PTM, JUIF or ANP Afgandus.

Pop quiz for Pakistanis: Do you want Pakistan to become more like Afgandustan? The answer to this question will be the same as whether you should support PTI or not. Even the mosques in Afgandustan have jaenamaz and loudspeaker stolen from Karachi.

Pakistan banne se pehle ye qom Abdali, Ghaznavi, Khalji ban k loot mar karti thi, Pakistan bana tou TTP, JUIF aur PTI ban k fasaad phelana shuru kar dia. Ayub ne Fatima Jinnah ko maara, Akbar ne Liaquat Ali Khan ko aur Yahya ne Bangladesh alag karwaya. Agar aap ek Pakhtun ko aalaa taaleem do ge, tou wo Indian ki tarah software bech k mulk ka faida nai karwaega, balkay apni derh eent ki masjid bana k parhay likhay andaz mein fasaad phelae ga.